We Made Gelato

When Eddie found out that AF and SMM were going to learn how to make gelato, he thought that we should learn how to, too. Eddie doesn't really eat gelato, so this was a surprising suggestion, but I like gelato so off we went.

The place was small. I had pictured a large industrial kitchen. Instead, we were in more of a galley kitchen, big enough for a long metal table around which about 14 people could stand. Two people to a bowl, we were instructed. Pull your hair back, we were instructed (AF and I already had our hair back). Wash your hands, we were instructed. I like that being clean and hairless was a priority.

 

After getting some history on gelato and learning how it's different from ice cream (it's kind a healtheir but not really), we did our first round of measuring. Since we'd all be pouring our bowls of gelato mixture into a large bucket (not something I thought was a cooking tool, but apparently, kitchen buckets are a thing), we were supposed to tell each other if we went over or under on an ingredient. This required math in the head. Meaning this required Eddie. We went through several rounds of this, and with each round, the evening out of ingredients became less and less, not because we were getting better at measuring but because we were simply not really doing it.

After each round, we got to taste the flavor that the instructor added in, and somehow, despite the very probably mismeasurements, each tasted yummy.

When all was said and done, each of us got to take home a pint of each. That means Eddie and I brought home 8 pints of gelato: 2 vanilla, 2 chocolate, 2 peanut butter, 2, cookies and cream. We went to my parents straight away and put it in their freezer because we did not need 8 pints of gelato that we weren't going to eat, and they know people who would take it.

Before going home, though, we stopped two doors down to grab lunch. When we walked in, I grabbed Eddie and was like, Do you know where we are? He didn't recognize it, but it was the bar where we first met. Not the bar we were in when he first asked me out, but the bar we were in when he came to meet up with his friend who was dating my friend and we barely spoke. Ah, memories. Anyway, the bar was empty except for maybe two people. We asked if they could hold our gelato in the freezer, and they said they'd hold it in a fridge. Good enough.

And then we got menus and the waitress came over and took our orders and we sat and talked about gelato-making and all kinds of things. Then I wondered aloud if the cook had died in the kitchen because it had been at least a half an hour and we hadn't gotten our food yet. If it had been busy, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. It wasn't busy. We could have asked the waitress to check on the food, but she was gone too. At least ten more minutes went by but then it finally arrived.

Eddie had ordered Parmesan truffle fries, but his plate arrived with regular fries. The waitress realized that it was wrong when she put it down, so she grabbed the wrong fries, apologized, and told him it would be five minutes. He shared my fries. We ate our meals. The Parmesan fries arrived when he was almost done with his burger. We had two of them. They tasted what I imagine a wet sock would taste like.

We wanted dessert. Our empty plates sat in front of us. We chatted about ordering dessert. We chatted about other things. About ten minutes later, the waitress came to clear our plates. We got all excited about ordering dessert. Then we saw the waitress with her coat on about to leave.

She then stopped short at the door and went towards the back of the bar. We figured that maybe she'd forgotten that we were still there. Ha ha. So funny. But no, she then came back into view still with her coat on. She'd forgotten her phone which was now in her hand. And she left. Okay then.

I pondered just leaving but then remembered that our gelato was in their fridge. We were captive. Finally, she came back in and SMM asked for two lava cakes and the check along with them. Smart. Very smart.

They waitress appeared twice. She was kind of checking on us, which was weird because after we ordered the lava cake, the cook must have died again because the waiting took forever. So she was checking on us while we were not eating.

About twenty minutes later, we got lava cake. It was not served with our gelato as we'd half expected, figuring they could cut costs by serving us our own dessert. We finished rather quickly but then had to wait for the bill because she hadn't brought it yet. We started to put our coats on anyway, and as we paid, we asked for our gelato. It was all there. And it was still frozen.

We put it in a cooler for the ride home (Eddie's very good idea), and we tasted it when we got to my parents'. They enjoyed a taste of each. I took a small taste of each, too. Eddie watched us enjoy it. Then we waited until Easter to have a gelato feast. Now there are still four full pints and four half pints left, and I don't think they'll last much longer. The instructor said that we could freeze and thaw it maybe three times before it loses its consistency. When that happens, we make milkshakes.

Sleepy Hollow's Creepy Stuff

Autumn means Let's go to Sleepy Hollow to learn about Washington Irving! Okay, that's not what autumn means, but that's what I've wanted to do every autumn for as long as I can remember, so this time, I made it come true.  I said to Eddie, Let's go to Sleepy Hollow to learn about Washington Irving! And he was like, I have no idea what you're talking about.  And I was like, There's a haunted house!  And he was like, Yes, let's do this. Because he loves Early American literature as much as I love Early American literature!

So off we went on a Saturday with SMM and AF, driving north, taking in the fall foliage that's so so pretty. I learned the night before that we should leave with plenty of time to spare because Sleepy Hollow was having its annual Halloween parade that day. Why they couldn't have stated that when I was picking a date to buy the tickets, I don't know. We had plenty of time to spare, and that time was used up by rolling along the main street as soon as we exited the parkway for the sleepy little town. Cars and vans and SUVs and minivans and more cars all crawled along street with creepy pillow people stuffed with straw lined the sidewalks tied to trees and poles. Who needs a haunted house when you have child-made creepy-people to creep you out for free?

We made it to the cemetery about 45 minutes before it was set to close. My main goal was to find Washington Irving's grave, but as we drove past, we all came up with a new and more important goal: find the Headless Horseman that Eddie found while we were driving by towards the entrance. We wound up parking on the side of the cemetery that's not used for entertaining folks.  I know, that's kind of creepy and messed up that a cemetery is used for entertainment, but really, it's historical, so it's okay. Plus, they give tours at night by lantern to creep you out even more. We didn't stay for that.

We walked up hills.  We walked down hills.  We walked around and around path after path.  This cemetery is rather large. We then found a crowd and in the middle of the crowd, right by the tent selling beer (in a cemetery) was, indeed, the Headless Horseman.

A traffic sign where we weren't allowed to drive

I was more scared of the horse. Seriously.  I was like, It's moving! And Eddie laughed at me.

We reached the end of the cemetery without finding Irving's grave, but we did find the Old Dutch Church. Then we found the place where Ichabod Crane found the bridge to safety when he was running from the Headless Horseman. THEN we found the sculpture that pays homage to the story. It's amazing what you find when you're looking for something else.

This is apparently my new pose.

Then back into the cemetery we went. Up hills. Down hills.  Paths upon paths.  We wanted to get back to the car and find the exit to get something to eat and hopefully avoid the parade that was causing street closures. Instead, we found Irving's grave!

Finding parking is an acquired skill. I was in the car with three Brooklyn experts. We careened around blocks and blocks of downtown Sleepy Hollow, all the while their eagle eyes darting every which way. Streets were packed. Driving was slow.

Beyonce was here.

Eddie finally snagged a spot after about twenty minutes of nothing being open. We didn't find a place to eat right away, but we did find this.

Then we found a street fair.  I have no idea where the parade went, but the street fair seemed to be part of the celebration.  Along its edge was a long line forming for a hayride. This town was all about Fall.  I had some delicious hot cider. Mmmm, cider.  SMM and AF ate some fried stuff. We took in the Sleepy Hollow brand.

 

Eventually, we'd walked around enough and figured we may as well head over to Horseman's Hollow in Philipsburg Manor. The rest of the year, this place seems to be a historical, educational venue. During Halloween season, it's terrifying mayhem. We waited for the sun to set, marking the time we'd have to get on line to go into the hollow and possibly not escape.

It doesn't look so bad.

Just a beautiful landscape

Until this happens

We got on line outside in front of the DJ booth covered in skulls.  The DJ was a horned creature.  We were given rules. No eating. No drinking. No smoking. The most important rule, though, was no touching. I suppose that also meant no punching and running in the other direction.

Then it was time. We entered the grounds. Off to the side was some sort of monster just standing there.  Eddie pointed it out.  I said something like, He should stay right over there. And that's what you're not supposed to say because in no time, he was behind us, like right behind us.

I don't like adults in character costumes. I get freaked out at Disney World. I was not a happy camper that time in Hershey Park when the large Hershey Bar came over to say hi. It's just freaky--adults in cartoon heads not talking but hugging and high fiving.  It just ain't right.

So here I was among not only adults in costume but also among adults whose job it was to jump out and scare the shit out of me. I decided the best choice for me was to stare at the ground a lot, loudly say how stupid everything was, and make Eddie go ahead of me every time we went into something new.

The scariest parts were the parts when nothing happened. We were expecting things to happen at every turn, so the anticipation killed me most.

There was a room with all the hanging white sheets. Inside people lurked dressed in all white, blending in.  So they could jump out and hiss and scream. Yeah, that happened. The hissing was sometimes worse than the screaming.

Also happening--a woman following me, whispering right in my ear that she'd smelled me coming. Not fun.

In another room, there were strobe lights and a back up of people in front of us so we got stuck in the strobes with the creepy black and white creepy crawly people getting all up in our faces. This was the main point when I was shouting, This is just so stupid!!! The creepy crawly people stayed in my face, not realizing that my shouting meant, Go away.

AF had it worse than I did because she was a bit more obvious in her not liking anything that was happening, so every single creepy person followed her every single time.  And SMM kept laughing. So did Eddie. Laughing laughing laughing. Because being terrified is fun. Apparently.

And then there was the tent that we had to enter single file. The floor moved. The sides of the tent were huge inflatable thingies.  We were smushed in from both sides. It was pitch black. Then we came out the other side. I don't know who would even think of that.  Stupid stupid stupid.  And very terrifying.

We made it through a bunch more twists like a mini corn maze and Ichabod's School House complete with a soundtrack of children crying--very horrifying. Then we found the Headless Horseman! Again!

We're lucky we found him because the idiot people in front of us were taking pictures with the flash on after being told repeatedly, Do not use your flash. The horse kept getting all freaked out and it walked away into a corner after being really annoyed at the flashes. Seriously, the general public makes me fear for the future.

I survived! Unscathed! It was all quite literary, really, so I'm going to count this trip as professional development.

Coney Island Koi

Seriously, who wins a koi fish and two gold fish from Coney Island and takes it home and buys a tank and a catfish to keep as pets?  Seriously?

But before that happened, Eddie sank one of those near-impossible baskets and won a stuffed monkey for me.  Then we rode the scary haunted ride and I spent the whole time screaming and hiding behind the monkey.  When we came out of the ride, I was clutching the monkey, and people were laughing, and AF was laughing and pointing at the booth where our pictures were on screen.  She was like, You have to see yours! In our picture, Eddie had his eyes closed and was laughing and you couldn't see me.  All you could see was the monkey in front of my face. 

I mean, I don't mind scary, but when the ride is pitch black--so dark that I couldn't see my own hand--I'm not into that.  Eddie kept saying, You have to look!  And I was like, Nope, I absolutely do not.

We watched fireworks with AF and SMM.  They were fun.

Then Eddie got this brilliant idea to win a fish.  We walked over to the fish game and the guy gave us four buckets of balls to throw into these tiny fish bowls.  I was throwing them trying to miss on purpose and I got two in.  In total, we all got in a whole lot, enough to win a koi.  When we went to collect the fish, the woman gave us two goldfish too, and she would have given us more had we not stopped her.

On the way home, water kept sloshing out of the tank at odd times.  However, the fish made it home.

The next day, we went to the pet store and bought a tank with a filter, and Eddie put the whole thing together because I wanted nothing to do with taking care of other living things.  He also bought a catfish because they help keep the tank clean. The catfish is crazy and was biting the koi's tail. Actually, all the fish are crazy. They go nuts whenever you walk into the room.

The one thing that matters most however is that the fish are still alive.  Good job, Eddie.

Stupid fish

Fun With Blacklight, Monster Mini-Golf Style

Once the anniversary celebration came to a close, Eddie and I took AF and SMM to play mini golf.  Still reeling from his incomprehensible tie, Eddie was out to prove something.  I was out to have some fun in blacklight.  I got a Groupon to play Monster Mini-Golf, which is an actual thing.  It's an indoor mini-golf course that's in the dark under blacklight where scary things glow.  We got stuck behind a group of 8, most of whom were not very good at mini-golf.  We were all actually doing pretty well at first, which meant we would complete a hole really quickly and then we'd be smushed between the 8 girls in front of us and then the four people behind us, and the entire course was basically backed up.  Good thing they play fun music.  AND we got to entertain ourselves for a while by taking pictures in blacklight even though they don't come out really well.  Because I wear contacts and have light eyes, I looked pretty creepy. 

We are idiots.

In the end, I came in last and Eddie won and AF and SMM were somewhere in the middle.  Eddie can now sleep better at night, reigning mini golf champ.

Whodunit? Don't Ask Me

No sign is complete without Eddie's raccoon stick (look to the left)

The year is 1922.  At the height of prohibition in Chicago, a mob war was brewing between the South Side Gangsters and the Northern Mob Outfit.  The two factions are planning to meet up at The Grand Gatsby Speakeasy to discuss the future of underground casinos...but not everyone may make it out alive. So don't be a pikah.  Stay outta the clink, get all dolled up, and come out for a night that's sure to be the cat's meow.

And so began the great murder mystery dinner party that S had gifted to me at least five years ago.  After years in the making, my house transformed into a speakeasy owned by Hal Sapone aka Eddie, called The Grand Gatsby (no, not The Great Gatsby.  That's Fitzgerald's speakeasy).

What speakeasy is complete without a little decoration?

The premise of the night was that everyone would be assigned a character, everyone would received a name tag, some notepaper for crime solving, and instructions and hints for the night to interact with each other.  Each course of food (cocktails and apps, main course, and dessert) came with not only these clues but also games.  These games were to be graded, and so I found myself grading.  Even at parties, I'm grading.

Everything everyone needs to solve a mystery. 

Main course

Dessert

Grading

"Fruit"

More grading

Gatsby and casino

Quizzing

The house filled with chatter and laughing and shrieks (and smoke -- we aired that out quick) and then the lights flickered and someone wound up dead.  Then we all figured out which way was north and had to diagram the murder scene.  Actually, this did not happen.  At first, I didn't even know why everyone kept asking which way was north because I was so busy grading and fanning out the smoke, that I was behind in my game play, which is also why whenever anyone said any clues to me, I responded with an "Okay!" and then went back to them ten minutes later with the actual response I was supposed to give.  The papers for the accusations had a spot to diagram the crime scene, but no one really did that.  Everyone did guess, though, and then we had to reveal whatever our final round clues stated.

Turns out, I knew nothing.  There were some fun twists.  I found out the next day that there was some more murdering that was supposed to happen but someone doesn't read instructions (meaning Eddie) so the final murdery stuff didn't happen.  That was fine.  We'd had enough mystery for one night. Who won?  S and S! Who lost? Everyone else. 

Revelations from a right-hand man

Clearly innocent faces

Crime boss and some other guy's dame

The singer and the baseball player/jazz musician who are also great cooks

Our grandmother is so proud.

Mess with them

Again, makin our family proud

Some final findings

The next day, my house looked like a horde of strippers had rolled around in it.  Glitter, spangles, fringe, and sequins  were everywhere.  I kept up the signs until I'd scooped up the last of the sparkly stuff and then returned to modern-day everyday living.  Except for the sign outside on the house.  That stayed up for at least a week.  I'd cut out the letters freehand and was dang proud; plus, a speakeasy ain't such a bad idea.