How To Do Vegas In Three And A Half Days, Day 1

I can hardly remember Vegas even though it was last month.  Such a blur.  Pre-Speedy Baddriverson,  Pre-Spring Semester, Pre-Blizzards.  But it would be so nice to be there....in the sun....

Birthday weekend!  Eddie and I got to JFK pretty early and decided to have breakfast in the terminal.  For shame, Delta Terminal, for shame!  Only one food place served bagels.  In New York!  One place!  AND they had no butter.  They'd run out.  We walked for miles. Not joking.  Back and forth, up and down, in search of a bagel place, and this was the only one and they had no butter.  After passing it for the fourth time, we decided to get dry bagels.  I'd like to say that the work was worth it, but they weren't even good New York Bagels.  For shame.

However, it did waste a good amount of time because when we sat to eat, our plane was ready to board ten minutes later.  Still, not worth it.  Next time, I'm bringing my own bagels.  Or maybe just my own butter.

The in-flight movie was about a very old couple who wanted to build a cabin but the wood they wanted to use was not up to code.  At least that's what I got from seeing some scenes of it without listening through the headphones.  Oh, and there were several times when said couple was practically naked and cuddling, which is not my idea of an appropriate in-flight movie.  Or really, any kind of movie I want to see.  Instead, to gear up for gambling, we watched Runner Runner on Eddie's laptop.  No old naked people.  Good enough.

Welcome To Las Vegas

After we got our car at LAS, we punched in In N Out and had lunch.  This was pretty much the reason we rented a car--to go to In N Out.  Lucky for us we had a car....that comes a bit later.  For now, we ate In N Out, where they have a pretty basic menu: Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Fries.  I was there once before when I flew out with my brother, so I knew they offered just the toppings on the bun with the sauce, so that's what I asked for.  The cashier told me that next time, I could just ask for their veggie burger, which is what they call this dish.  There really isn't anything "burger" about it except for maybe the bun.  Everything was delicious.

Not too shabby after a long plane ride of discomfort (more on that later)

Before heading to the hotel, we drove up and down the strip.  The traffic on the strip is horrible.  Also horrible?  The clown outside of Circus Circus.

No

We did, however, find the CVS to stock up on water and snacks...and finding this CVS would be handy later on...you'll see....

The Check-In, aka Welcome To My Nightmare
We chose to stay at the Tropicana for two reasons: Eddie plays at the Trop in AC and likes it, and Hilton took over and we get points for Hiltons.  It's very pretty, somewhat of a throwback to old-timey Vegas.  And that's where the thrill ends.

We got onto the line for Hilton Honors members. There were three people in front of us plus someone already at the check-in counter.  Next to us was a line practically to the front of the hotel.  Every check-in rep was busily checking people in.

Oh, did I mention that the LGBT Sin City Softball Tournament was in town and the Tropicana was the host hotel?  Hence the very long lines.  AND there was free water and lemonade for everyone, which is nice but kind of gyps us out of free stuff because HHMembers get free water with check-in, and it doesn't make me feel special when everyone gets free stuff.

So we waited.  Then we waited more.  The very long line out the door moved and moved and then the people who had been even with us checked in on the long line before we even got to the front of ours.  Someone came around offering free cookies.  I took one.  Again, it didn't make me special, but it did make me happy.

I've got a case of Madonna-Arm here

And the insanity of check-in continued.There were only two workers at the counter and several managers passed by before getting someone else to start serving the line. When we finally got to the counter, the employee did not offer even a courteous apology for the wait and even seemed annoyed when we mentioned it. She said we'd be staying for three days, and Eddie responded that he felt like he'd been standing in line for three days. Granted, he was a smartass, but he wouldn't have been if she'd been friendlier and at least acknowledged that we'd been waiting for so long.

In the middle of our transaction some electronic malfunctioned but I'm not sure exactly what the problem was because the employee that was checking us in and a second employee who came over to see what the issue was completely ignored us and again did not even offer a courteous apology for having to wait even longer.

When that was finally resolved, she gave us crazy instructions of how to find our room, which send us rolling our luggage all over the casino floor until some guy found us and directed us to where we needed to go, and that was one of the only good things that happened. We got help without having to ask for it. A brief five seconds of good service.

The tv was on when we entered our room and we could not shut it off. The remote buttons and buttons on the tv would beep loudly and nothing would change. We called the care line and the employee apologized for the inconvenience and said she would send an electrician right away. Eddie and I waited over an hour and no one came. We were starving so we had to leave. He wound up having to move the dresser to unplug it.

As we walked to the lobby, Eddie whispered to me, I'm starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable. It was getting loud and raucous on the first floor. I was like, Why? Then we turned a corner to find two young shaven muscle-y men hanging out in only their florescent speedo-like undies that were two sizes too tight. I followed up my own question with, Okay, now I'm a little bit uncomfortable for you.

We met up with C and J who had flown in much earlier to also celebrate J's birthday and were staying at the Monte Carlo. There, as we waited in the lobby for them to come down, Eddie and I heard a much different kind of ruckus. Omigod! It was a parade! Like two sheltered people who have never seen a friggin parade before, we literally ran through the casino to chase it down. Free entertainment! The Blue Man group performs at MC, so this parade happens daily. Lucky them!

Parade!

We walked the strip at night. Everything was lit up. Everything was pretty. We found a cute Italian place and ate. I was practically in a coma because I don't do well with jet lag, but I was still somewhat alert to enjoy it.

C and J came back with us to see the Trop, and by that time, it was wall to wall partying. The almost naked men were gone, but the music was thumping and there was a lot of fun happening. I put my hair up and Eddie pointed at it: She's done for the night. And I was. They were going to gamble, but I was going to bed.

Eddie walked me upstairs and he got into comfy gambling clothes. I got into my jammies! He went out the door, and I climbed under the covers. We'd made the error of turning our tv back on, because when I went to shut it off, it wouldn't turn off. More beeping. More not working. Some weird code popped up onto a white screen.  Very not working.

Stupid TV

 I had to climb out of bed, crawl behind the dresser, and unplug it again. That's around the time my phone rang. It was Eddie telling me that the Tropicana does not have a poker room. Eddie's game is poker, and he couldn't play there because they didn't have it. He wound up going across the footbridge to MGM, which became the usual routine. Every casino/hotel was better than ours, but that was fine. We weren't staying in the room or the casino there. We were there to explore and gamble and laugh and have a good time, which would happen in the days to come...

What A Wedding

Getting ready for a winter wedding....

Hmm, what's this in the dress I borrowed from S?

Ooh, two bucks!

I love a dress with pockets.  I love a friend who lends.

My man, tying his tie.

My man, fixing his shirt.

My man, putting on his jacket.  Snazzy!

After getting all pretty and handsome, we winterized to face the falling snow.

Then there was dancing and drinking and eating and laughing.

We stopped at Panera for a snack before the reception.

And a hot chocolate with chocolate chip cookie marshmallows. 

Standing on the dance floor

Taking a picture of ourselves in the mirror.  Because we are children.

Pretty centerpieces

The wedding was post-collision caused by Speedy Baddriverson, so I was looped up.

Even so, it was a fun time. 

The guys

The gals

When we got home, my feet were still nice and cozy.

And my husband was still lookin all GQ:

And we also saw the rise of the Wedding Olive.

I don't quite remember why, but this olive was important enough to be featured in its own photo.  Like I said, I was looped up and it was a fun time.

Congrats to D and F.

Staying Golden

I "won" this stuff.  I don't go to the movies a lot.  Even though I have Netflix and a bunch of movie channels that Eddie got for free by harassing the Fios people when renewing our contract, I rarely see any movies that are nominated for awards.  However, sometimes I'm a good guesser, so when presented with a list of nominees, I can narrow down the winner.

Like this:

The nominees for best actor are...

Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)

Idris Elba (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)

Tom Hanks (Captain Phillips)

Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Robert Redford (All is Lost)

12 Years A Slave and Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom cancel each other out because they are movies about gaining freedom.

Captain Phillips and All Is Lost cancel each other out because they are both about boats (and because I'm a racist).

Therefore, the Golden Globe would go to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club, and also because he was in Wolf Of Wall Street for like five minutes and was spectacular there, too.  Is that not how it works? 

And the Golden Globe DID go to Matthew McConaughey.  See?  That IS how it works.  Which means my system is foolproof unless there are other categories with other nominees which there are which means I'm not very good at this.

But because I got seven guesses right, I was sometimes privy to grab-bag gifts courtesy of S and her annual Golden Globes bash.  The grab-bag apparently consisted of "stuff S and R are trying to get rid of from their place." Some things not pictured that Eddie or I grabbed were a plastic dolphin and a different kids meal toy.  They made their way back into the bag.

Also pictured is one of the cups that we used for drinks, which is cute in itself, but look at the initials. S found stickers that you can scratch into to show that the cup is yours.  Genius! 

Eddie, who watches no television at all and pays no attention to pop culture, read an article about the Golden Globes and guessed like 12 right.  Maybe reading an article is a better system than my non-logical logic.  Everyone got right around 8.  Then here comes L, just like every year, getting like almost every one right and winning everything.

Winning is not only about the grab bag.  We bet nickels.  At the end, there are a lot of nickels in the pot.  Every year, L winds up taking everyone's nickels.  She has no system.  She has no articles.  Dare I say, she watches movies?  

Incidentally, Eddie and I saw Captain Phillips in the movies when it first came out, and if not for stupid Robert Redford On A Raft, he would have won.  And to not be nominated for the Academy Award?  For shame, Oscar, for shame!

Almost All My Free Stuff January 2014

This is some free stuff.  It came in the mail.  There's other free stuff, but that involves Vegas and the SuperBowl, so you'll have to hold your oohs and ahs for that.

I might drink this, but more importantly, I love this packaging.

Ooh, it's gourmet.  Not decaf, though, so it's iffy.

This? Is already gone.  AND I used the coupon.

Groovin In Motown

As a Christmas gift, Eddie and SMM got me and AF tix for all of us to see Motown on Broadway. On a rainy night in January, Eddie and I headed into the city and between rain drops found Bill's Bar and Burgers.

When we went in to let them know we were there for our reservation, they seated us without our entire party there. That's a big plus! No place does that! The woman offered us a booth in the back. Eddie asked, Can you see the game from there? No, we could not. The woman offered us a table up front by the door in front of the screen the size of the large wall it was on. That, apparently, was perfect.

When SMM and AF arrived, we got some food fast. It was like the quickest service ever. They barely had time to dry off as they got caught in a rather hard downpour on the way in. We ate. It was good. No sides come with your burger. It's not a drawback for me considering I'd rather not have a greasy side, but for some people, it probably is. By the time we finished, the rain had let up and it was time to hike over to the show. When we got to the theatre, the line was moving in so we didn't have to wait outside in the rain. Everything was perfectly timed.

The show is non-stop entertainment. Sometimes it was hard to follow because the time switches in the beginning, but the singing and dancing made up for the confusion. At intermission, AF was like, I feel like I'm in the show. I was like, I keep dancing in my seat! They guys were enjoying it, too, though at the break they were highly interested in the score of the game. So were all the guys around us and the two of them became the Official Score Updaters for anyone who walked by, including the usher. This? Is our life.

I also learned a lot from the play that I didn't know before like who was married to whom, who divorced whom, who cheated on whom, and who wrote whose greatest hits. Several of the actors played multiple roles and since the show spans many years, we saw them change outfits to fit with the time, which again confused me because "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" Marvin Gaye dresses much differently from "What's Goin On" Marvin Gaye. Again, the music and dancing distracted me from the confusion. Then the little actor who plays The Jackson Five's Michael Jackson stole the show. He's the kind of kid who makes you feel bad about yourself as an adult because he can do what he can do and you can only watch.

Even so, we left on a high. Good play. Good food. Good date. Good night.

The Unfortunate Post

I have all kinds of fun stories to tell and I was looking forward to telling them in between checking my work email and new online and hybrid classes. Instead, I'm telling only one non-fun story and then getting off of the computer because I'm tired from the meds. Why am I taking meds? Because people can't drive.

I was driving home from work after teaching one class in which 12 of 24 showed up, which is more than I'd expected because this was Wednesday and some people were still snowed in. I was happy to be driving home on a road that was clear and dry and clean and not worrisome at all.

I got off the parkway and headed south on Peninsula, keeping to the right lane so everyone else not doing the speed limit could fly by. Up ahead, cars in front of me kept braking. So I kept braking even though I was about ten car lengths behind them. Then I was closer and closer even though I'd slowed down. I then saw an SUV stopped in the right lane with its hazards on. It was blocking traffic and people were trying to get over into the left lane. I came to a stop behind the two cars that had also come to a stop behind the SUV.

Speedy Baddriverson behind me did not come to a full stop. She bashed into the back of my car as she shouted Oh My God! How do I know she shouted Oh My God? Because I saw her coming at me in my rearview because as I stopped, I looked up to see what was behind me.

I squeezed down on my brake because I didn't want to bump into the people in front of me or the people in the left lane. The two cars ahead of me got around the SUV. The cars in the left lane swerved by. Then I made my way around the SUV, parked, and put my hazards on, all while shouting Nooooo Nooooo Nooooo. I don't know what I was saying No to.

I sat for a moment and saw Speedy Baddriverson pulling around me, looking at me, and then shaking her head. I think she knew that this was not good. The SUV pulled away, so now we were blocking traffic in the right lane and could not pull onto the shoulder because the snow had been plowed onto it an little Yolanda can't go up a small hill let alone go over a foot and a half of packed snow on the roadside.

I called the cops. I did not shout Noooo Noooo Noooo into the phone at them. They asked if there were injuries. I said, I don't think so. They said they'd be on their way. I stressed that we were blocking traffic and cars were swerving around to avoid us because there was no shoulder. They repeated that someone would come.

As I was on the phone, Speedy Badderiverson got out of her car and stood next to mine. She was standing in the middle of the two lanes where all the drivers were swerving. I rolled down my window and she said, I am so sorry--I couldn't stop my car in time. I said, Well, you shouldn't have been going so fast--please get back in your car because it's dangerous to stand there. She got back in her car seemingly oblivious to how dangerous this was to be in the middle of the lane.

I called Eddie. He stayed on the phone with me as I shouted about every single car that was careening towards us and swerving around at the last second because everyone was speeding and no one cared that my hazards were on. There were trucks coming. I knew if cars were behind those trucks, they wouldn't see us. The police were not showing up. Finally, I said to Eddie, I have to move! He said, Move then call the police.

I went around Speedy Baddriverson and waved for her to follow me. She did. I don't know if she knows why we moved. I found a righthand turn lane and parked in it with her behind me. Eddie arrived and parked behind her. I had to call the police two more times because they called and said they couldn't find us and then they redispatched the officers. I asked if I was going to get arrested for leaving the scene of the accident. He said I would not be arrested.

A police officer arrived and put his flashing lights on so people would stop lining up behind us in the turn lane. Why they were lining up behind cars with hazards on is beyond me. The officer asked where the collision happened. I explained after the first overpass but before the second. He said there might be a jurisdiction issue. I stressed that I had to move because it was dangerous. He said he'd do the report and took my info. Then I watched him talk to Speedy Baddriverson as she gestured and explained in her words what happened. I don't know why it took so long to say, I rammed into the back of her car because I was speeding and couldn't stop in time on the dry clean road.

The officer came back a few minutes later and informed me I could get the report online. He didn't say, Drive safely, or Good luck, or Hope it all works out. I don't think he cared much.

Eddie followed me home and then went back to work. My mom took me to urgent care. They did a whole rigamarole of stuff, gave me anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers, told me to rest, and warned me: It's going to get worse tomorrow. They also said I might have to follow up with treatment if I didn't feel better once the meds were done.

I submitted information to my car insurance on my app and they called me later on. They also said, It's going to get worse tomorrow.

It did get worse. Still, I had to make phone calls and take phone calls to doctors and insurance companies.

I thought I felt better this morning, but I was wrong. Once I started moving, everything hurt again. I have to call the insurance company again. I checked the website for the collision report and nothing is there yet. I checked the insurance website and there are a bunch of forms I have to fill out. I filled one out last night but decided the others had to wait because I was falling asleep from the meds and I didn't want to start writing in gibberish.

So, my semester has started with canceled classes from snow on day one and the morning of day two, and then with getting rear-ended by Speedy Baddriverson. This was not the week I'd planned to have.

When my head, neck, and back no longer ache -- whenever that will be -- I'll regale you with stories of Broadway and Motown and the Golden Globes and Las Vegas. For now, it's just medication and ice packs and heating pads and being really really annoyed.

Casino Cough

I was sick from December 22 to January 2.  I had not been sick for months and months, so when the germs stake their claim, they don't like to leave.  At first, I thought I had casino cough, something I found online when I was researching how I got the tingling cough that was annoying me all day on Sunday.  I found something called "casino cough" caused by the smoke, poor hygiene, and lack of fresh air in the casino environment.  I researched sickness and casinos because the day before I got sick, Eddie and I had a really great time in AC.  We drove down in 65 degree weather in December and stayed at the Tropicana for the day.

On the way there, this car once again proved my theory that a large percent of the population is dumb.

If you buy this, you're too friggin stupid to be driving.

The drive down was quick and easy.  The casino was empty.  When we entered, we came upon the much-touted laser light show.



Whoo-hoo! What a show!

We ate at Hooters.  We walked the boardwalk.  We bought some salt-water taffy.  We roamed around the casino to look at the Christmas decorations.  He gambled a bit.  I lounged around.  Then we had dinner--he had a really gross slice of pizza that had dough that was still raw and I had a very delicious crepe and I wanted ten more.  More gambling.  Then we came home.

A view from our parked car

Cousin of Chuckie?

Windy but warm and bright!

I'm converting again

No, that's how you get casino cough

AC Art

AC Art

Art in Atlantic City

How Eddie appreciates art in Atlantic City

My winnings.  Or should I say what's left of what I mostly lost.

The next day, I was coughing.  I chalked it up to the smoke.  Then I found casino cough online and self-diagnosed.  Then I went to help my mom make meatballs for Christmas day.  That's when it hit me. I finished making them and was like, I have to go lie down.

And that's how I stayed for the next ten days or so, on the couch, coughing and feeling shitty.  I didn't have a fever yet I had chills followed by sweating (and my mom told me a few days later, Oh you had a virus.  Thank you, Dr. Mom).  I was one big ball of germs and I tried to keep it away from Eddie by washing blankets and spraying everything with Lysol including the air I was exhaling.

He got sick anyway, but only the sniffles and a headache for about half that time.  Meanwhile, I was sweating and shivering on the couch, unable to even watch a movie full way through.  Gross.  Very gross.

On Christmas morning, we went to my parents' living room for fifteen minutes of opening presents.  On New Years, we sat on the couch and I forced myself to take a nap while Eddie watched Riddick, a movie that should never have been made because it was very stupid.

I am finally back to normal with only a few days here and there of Omigod I'm relapsing scares.  I don't think it was casino cough after all.  Thinking back to the last day of the semester, I shook a lot of hands, conferenced with many many people in a small hot room.  Basically, I sat in a petri dish for nine hours, and someone must have carried in something and in all that handshaking and paper exchanging, the germs won.  This semester, there will be no handshaking and lots of Lysol.  I don't think I'll lose my job if I spray down everyone who comes into the office.  I'll have to check my contract.