Very Dangerous Territory

Gambling has never been on my radar. My obsessiveness in other parts of life (aka having to finish P 90 X simply because I started it) I could see easily becoming a problem for activities like gambling. However, Eddie taught me how to play Texas Hold Em, so I wanted to see how I could use my newfound knowledge.

I entered my first Texas Holdem tournament online. You know that games button on the MSN homepage? It takes you to a whole bunch of mindless fun. I sway towards Text Twist, Mah Jong Dimensions, BubbleTown, and Shape Shifter. But they also have card games. Who knew?

One reason seasoned card players would hate playing with me is that I have no fear. I call almost everything. So there I am in the first few rounds of cards, and I'm racking up the chips because I'm calling everything and making seriously absurd bets and people fear me.

A second reason seasoned card players would hate playing with me is that I am completely inconsistent in betting. I have no tells because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Some hands I call, some hands I raise, some hands I go all in, for no reason other than it's fun to do.

Some nail-biting moments occurred from time to time when I asked Eddie for advice and he told me what to do and I put my arms around my head and squealed as I waited. Every time, his advice panned out. We're a good team.

For the most part, however, he wanted to see me play my own way. Which means strategy-less. Without strategy, in a game with over 120 players, I came in 44th. That's the top half!

I lost on a hand that I should have won. The other guy got lucky with some weird pair, like a pair of threes that he should have never called. Then again, I would call a pair of threes, so good on him.

Fast forward to a few spare hours and the poker chips left here from Eddie's poker night. I asked if we could play each other for real to see how good I am. One on one poker is different from poker with a bunch of people as I learned in the first few hands of losing.

We didn't muck so I learned quickly that all the hands I called that I probably shouldn't have in a tournament I could definitely call one on one. Okay, I have no problem with that.

Eddie folded on a hand because, and I quote, "You totally have a Queen because your eyes lit up when you saw it on the flop. You need a poker face."

I had nothing and laughed maniacally. Who needs a poker face?

Then Lunatic Eddie went all in on like the fifth hand because, and I quote, "You are totally bluffing."

Game one went to ......ME. Why? Because I had like a flush.

We played again. This time, he was more strategic. The game was longer. We went back and forth. I kept calling when I had nothing. I had most of the chips and then went all in when I had nothing and he won most of them back.

Game two went to ..... ME. Why? Because I rock this game so hard.

Yeah, that's right. I'm headed to AC.