Monday, March 7, 2011

Where Was George Clooney?

Wednesday morning, I was dizzy when I woke up. I was dizzy in the shower. I was feeling numb all over. My head hurt. I hadn't slept because I kept moving around my extremities, trying to tell if I could indeed move them.

Basically, I thought I was having a stroke.

After my shower, I climbed into bed with Eddie and whispered, I think we should go to the Emergency Room.

Eddie jumped out of bed. It was the fastest I've ever seen him get out of bed. His slight panic was not helping, but his speed was. I gathered my ID and insurance card. I got dressed as he got dressed. We did everything that you're not supposed to do if you think you're having a stroke. You're supposed to call an ambulance and rush to the hospital.

At the ER, the reception guy got me a wheelchair so I wouldn't have to walk and fall over. The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature. Then I filled out paperwork. This all took about forty-five minutes. No one seemed worried that I was stroking, so I started to worry less. I was aghast at how much crap you need to do before you see a doctor. Next time, no matter what it is, I'm calling an ambulance so I can do paperwork second and perhaps see a friggin doctor first because it's a friggin emergency.

I got stuck in the bathroom doorway when the wheelchair wouldn't go over the saddle. A nurse asked if I could walk. I told her I was dizzy. She said she'd guide me to the bed and I didn't need the chair. That made me feel better.

The ER was quiet, almost empty. A Physician Assistant came over and talked to me and used her stethoscope and did the push/pull and follow-the-pen tests, all of which came out fine. I asked if I was having a stroke. She said she didn't think that was going on at all.

I got a cat scan. The machine yelled at me. It said, DON'T MOVE! I wasn't moving but that made me not move and hold my breath. Since this was a head scan, I didn't need to hold my breath, but it was the only movement I was doing, and since it yelled at me, I stopped.

Then it yelled, RELAX! That was not very relaxing.

A nurse took a fair amount of blood and gave me anti-vert. They said that it would stop the dizziness, but I know the truth. Anti-vert simply makes you so tired that you have to fall asleep so that you don't realize if you're dizzy.

Eddie entertained me by listing all the times he had to visit an ER and why. Then he told me about his experience with cat scan machines. Then he took pictures of me. I make blue-green hospital gowns sexy, huh?

The cat scan came back fine. The PA told me it was a case of vertigo.

So really, everything that was happening to me from the dizziness to the feeling like I'm numb to the not feeling right to the raised pulse and the wondering if my extremeties were moving was mostly from worrying. If I had to guess: 10% vertigo, 90% panic.

They sent me home with a prescription for anti-vert which I didn't fill because it doesn't work and a piece of paper that explains what I had: Dizziness. It has helpful advice on it such as if you feel dizzy, lie down so you don't fall. A thousand dollar emergency room visit for them to tell me to lie down if I'm dizzy.

The bright side: I didn't have to go to work that day. Eddie didn't go to work, either. He took care of me instead. And took pictures of my ailments. Ewww.

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