How To Do Vegas In Three And A Half Days, Day 2, Part II

With cranberry juice and water packed up in my shoulder bag, Eddie and I met up with C and J to partake in my FREE Las Vegas Stray Boots Scavenger Hunt.  Why was it free?  Because I'm awesome at getting free stuff.  We were in store for some casino hopping and trivia answering in the central part of the strip.  We saw pretty glass art, pretty indoor gardens, large replicas of New York and Paris, and went all around the world without ever leaving one street.  We stopped to gamble, of course.  The roulette lady in one of the casinos was hard core hitting on J.  Like seriously, she would not stop asking him questions and staring at him.  It was Hil.Air.Eee.Us. mostly because she was old enough to be his mother but also because he really had no clue that she was flirting.

While moving between casinos, we made some new friends:

After making the boys do the can-can (the scavenger hunt told them to), we stopped in Paris for food.  For some reason, they chose to get pizza in the Parisian-themed casino, and they were shocked that the dough tasted weird.  I tried a bite of Eddie's (I was full from the Parking Lot IHOP indulgence), and told them, The crust tastes like French bread...because we're in France.

While they ate, I walked up and down the same hallway about ten times looking for a statue.  We couldn't find it anywhere when we first walked in, so since I wasn't eating, I took off, determined.  And lookit:

We then went in search of a large slot machine.  Around and around the casino we walked until I decided, This is a large screen so let's just call it this one:

But then we found this one afterwards:

So really everything in Vegas is a giant slot machine.

We cut the hunt short because it was nearing the time to get ready to see The Mentalist.  We met up once more later on a very long and confusing line where the theatre was for the show.  There were hordes of people everywhere, and I had vouchers and reservations, but not physical tickets, and there was no sign that said that.  There was one sign that said Tickets.  Not. Helpful.  Really, the entire process of getting the stupid tickets had been very confusing, but I'd rather go onto Travelzoo and get tickets for 10 bucks than pay almost 70 for each one.  Yeah, that's right--when I can't get things for free, I find a discount. 

The show? Was pretty entertaining.  The theatre was small and cold and again the waiting on the line was confusing and the finding seats was odd, but overall the show was fantastic.  Basically, The Mentalist shows off his ability to use intuition and other subtle techniques to figure out stuff about strangers while blindfolded.  He also shoots himself with a nail gun.  Eddie got to throw a ball into a hoop from his seat.  The show was also really short (another reason I'm happy we paid 10 each instead of the full price), so we were out of there and ready to eat in no time.

We ate at some place where the servers were dressed like cheerleaders.  One of them seemed to not be wearing underwear, and I know this not because I was trying to see up her skirt but because her skirt was a little too small for her and her butt was pushing it up, making it too short in the back.  So we got a second show at dinner. And Eddie made yet another friend:

At this point, I had not slept in three days and I was on lots of medication making it so I couldn't drink anything harder than juice, so while Las Vegas is Sin City, I was more into not sinning and sleeping instead.  They all went gambling, and yet again, I went back to our broke-down hotel room to finally sleep.  And I did.  And then I felt better, which is a good thing because the next day was sports day.

How To Do Vegas In Three And A Half Days, Day 2, Part I

To get the most out of any vacation, I like to see the parts of a place a tourist usually doesn't see.  Unfortunately for me on this Vegas extravaganza, I saw the urgent care.  I did not sleep at all after our exhausting day of travel.  I also had not slept the night before that, and only a few hours the night before that.  Why?  Because my bladder decided to get an infection the Sunday before we left.  Then my infected body decided to not respond to Cipro, what most people respond to.  I then went on some sort of sulfa drug.  I was on day four and everything was getting worse instead of better.  Flying with a bladder infection was horrible.  Spending our first night on vacation wide awake and achy was terrible. So when we got up, I said to Eddie, I have to go to a doctor.  He was like, Yeah, no joke.  Apparently, I looked the way I felt. 

I took a shower.  The tub started filling up with water.  I pulled up on the drain plug.  It came apart.  I'm not joking.  Since I can't see a thing without my glasses, I thought maybe I'd done something wrong, so Eddie came in to help and saw that I didn't do anything wrong, and the drain was simply broken.  So I took the piece that came off and wedged it under the drain plug to make sure it stayed open so I didn't drown in a tub of bathwater and sorrow.

While Eddie showered, I looked over my "Be Prepared For Anything" list of stuff and found two urgent cares.  They were closed on the weekends.  We hopped in the car and drove to one we found on the GPS.  Closed.  Then we found another one.  It was open.  During all the driving, we did see a good amount of Vegas landscape, which is very pretty.

The people at the urgent care were really nice and seemed genuinely sympathetic because, once again, I looked the way I felt.  The woman at the counter said that I should fill out some forms and the entire process would take two hours.  I told Eddie to go sleep in the car.  At some point, he did wander out because he was tired from having gambled late. Eventually, I was called back and did the usual thing.  Here's a cup.  Pee in it.  Is there anything more degrading than someone asking, Do you think you can give us a urine sample? while holding out a plastic cup?  Oh, yes, actually there is.  The woman in the sample lab had run out of cups, so she had to hop onto her headset and ask for someone to bring back the "small urine sample cups" and then she handed me a cup the size of a small cereal bowl instead because the cups were taking too long to arrive.  She also hadn't heard of a second medication I was taking that is supposed to ease the pain and discomfort of the infection...and the side effect is that it turns anything that comes out of your body orange.  So, what's even more degrading?  Coming out of the bathroom with a cereal bowl sized cup of orange liquid.  Head held high, I placed it on the tissue on the counter and headed into the exam room.

Someone came in and took my temperature and blood pressure.  Then the doctor came in and we spoke at length about what my symptoms were, how they were being treated, and for how long because my pee test didn't show much indication of an infection.  When I mentioned I'd gone to urgent care first, he asked which one, and I said, One in New York; this is my vacation. Again, pity.  He asked for a glucose blood test because it seemed high in the pee sample.  I told him I'd eaten a cookie that morning and asked if that could have anything to do with it.  Not really, he said.  Then he double checked the meds I said I'd been on and asked why I'd been taking the one the other woman hadn't heard of.  I was like, I don't even know because they don't seem to be working--all they do is turn everything orange.  He stopped himself from opening the door, looked up from his folder, and then said, You know, that's probably another reason your sample came back so indecisive.  That figures.

The woman who had taken my temperature came in and pulled out a finger-prick kit.  She asked, Have you had this done before?  I answered, not since I was a kid.  She pulled out a finger-pricker-thingie and pressed it against my finger.  Nothing.  She did it again.  Nothing.  She said, That's odd, while holding it up. It apparently did not contain the pointy thing.  She grabbed another one.  She pressed it against my finger.  Nothing.  She did it again.  Nothing.  She held it up and scrutinized it closely.  Hmm.  She pressed it against my finger, putting her body weight behind it.  Finally.  Blood. 

She laughed and said, At first I thought it was me, but I've been doing this for twenty years, so...

I responded, I figured it was me.

She said, Tough skin.  I suppose that's a good thing.  Then she smiled big. 

The doctor came back and said that the glucose was fine.  Then punched me in the back a few times, making sure I had no signs of kidney infection.  He said that my "puzzling" infection would hopefully go away with macrobid.  I've had a bladder infection four times in my life.  The first time I had one, that's the medication I was on--I remembered as soon as he said it. I suddenly felt relief.  I mean, I still felt like I had to pee even though I'd just peed, but I felt relief in that I was going to finally feel better.

Then he gave me a plan, like an actual plan as if he were my actual usual doctor.  Going forward--do this, this, and this.  If this happens again, then do that.  Insist on this.  Plan for that.  Here's a prescription. And then he said, Feel better--I don't like to see people having to come here while they're on vacation. 

Awesome doctor.  Eddie and I were on our way, and we'd spent about two hours there as we were told.

We went to IHOP because Eddie was starving.  We got take-out.  While we waited, we took in the scenery.  It was still lovely.

We drove to a minimart nearby and ate pancakes and eggs from plastic containers in the parking lot.  We ate it all in about five minutes.  We were fat pigs, but it was worth it.  Driving back to the strip, we saw that we were missing this event:

We went to the CVS we'd been to the day before to fill my prescription and to stock up on more cranberry juice and water.  I must have had at least a gallon of water during the day with maybe a quart of cranberry juice mixed in.  Sure I was stopping every five minutes to pee, but I'd been doing that anyway because that's what a bladder infection is all about. 

And so that's how we spent the first three hours of our first full day in Vegas.  Thankfully, it got better from there.

How To Do Vegas In Three And A Half Days, Day 1

I can hardly remember Vegas even though it was last month.  Such a blur.  Pre-Speedy Baddriverson,  Pre-Spring Semester, Pre-Blizzards.  But it would be so nice to be there....in the sun....

Birthday weekend!  Eddie and I got to JFK pretty early and decided to have breakfast in the terminal.  For shame, Delta Terminal, for shame!  Only one food place served bagels.  In New York!  One place!  AND they had no butter.  They'd run out.  We walked for miles. Not joking.  Back and forth, up and down, in search of a bagel place, and this was the only one and they had no butter.  After passing it for the fourth time, we decided to get dry bagels.  I'd like to say that the work was worth it, but they weren't even good New York Bagels.  For shame.

However, it did waste a good amount of time because when we sat to eat, our plane was ready to board ten minutes later.  Still, not worth it.  Next time, I'm bringing my own bagels.  Or maybe just my own butter.

The in-flight movie was about a very old couple who wanted to build a cabin but the wood they wanted to use was not up to code.  At least that's what I got from seeing some scenes of it without listening through the headphones.  Oh, and there were several times when said couple was practically naked and cuddling, which is not my idea of an appropriate in-flight movie.  Or really, any kind of movie I want to see.  Instead, to gear up for gambling, we watched Runner Runner on Eddie's laptop.  No old naked people.  Good enough.

Welcome To Las Vegas

After we got our car at LAS, we punched in In N Out and had lunch.  This was pretty much the reason we rented a car--to go to In N Out.  Lucky for us we had a car....that comes a bit later.  For now, we ate In N Out, where they have a pretty basic menu: Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Fries.  I was there once before when I flew out with my brother, so I knew they offered just the toppings on the bun with the sauce, so that's what I asked for.  The cashier told me that next time, I could just ask for their veggie burger, which is what they call this dish.  There really isn't anything "burger" about it except for maybe the bun.  Everything was delicious.

Not too shabby after a long plane ride of discomfort (more on that later)

Before heading to the hotel, we drove up and down the strip.  The traffic on the strip is horrible.  Also horrible?  The clown outside of Circus Circus.

No

We did, however, find the CVS to stock up on water and snacks...and finding this CVS would be handy later on...you'll see....

The Check-In, aka Welcome To My Nightmare
We chose to stay at the Tropicana for two reasons: Eddie plays at the Trop in AC and likes it, and Hilton took over and we get points for Hiltons.  It's very pretty, somewhat of a throwback to old-timey Vegas.  And that's where the thrill ends.

We got onto the line for Hilton Honors members. There were three people in front of us plus someone already at the check-in counter.  Next to us was a line practically to the front of the hotel.  Every check-in rep was busily checking people in.

Oh, did I mention that the LGBT Sin City Softball Tournament was in town and the Tropicana was the host hotel?  Hence the very long lines.  AND there was free water and lemonade for everyone, which is nice but kind of gyps us out of free stuff because HHMembers get free water with check-in, and it doesn't make me feel special when everyone gets free stuff.

So we waited.  Then we waited more.  The very long line out the door moved and moved and then the people who had been even with us checked in on the long line before we even got to the front of ours.  Someone came around offering free cookies.  I took one.  Again, it didn't make me special, but it did make me happy.

I've got a case of Madonna-Arm here

And the insanity of check-in continued.There were only two workers at the counter and several managers passed by before getting someone else to start serving the line. When we finally got to the counter, the employee did not offer even a courteous apology for the wait and even seemed annoyed when we mentioned it. She said we'd be staying for three days, and Eddie responded that he felt like he'd been standing in line for three days. Granted, he was a smartass, but he wouldn't have been if she'd been friendlier and at least acknowledged that we'd been waiting for so long.

In the middle of our transaction some electronic malfunctioned but I'm not sure exactly what the problem was because the employee that was checking us in and a second employee who came over to see what the issue was completely ignored us and again did not even offer a courteous apology for having to wait even longer.

When that was finally resolved, she gave us crazy instructions of how to find our room, which send us rolling our luggage all over the casino floor until some guy found us and directed us to where we needed to go, and that was one of the only good things that happened. We got help without having to ask for it. A brief five seconds of good service.

The tv was on when we entered our room and we could not shut it off. The remote buttons and buttons on the tv would beep loudly and nothing would change. We called the care line and the employee apologized for the inconvenience and said she would send an electrician right away. Eddie and I waited over an hour and no one came. We were starving so we had to leave. He wound up having to move the dresser to unplug it.

As we walked to the lobby, Eddie whispered to me, I'm starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable. It was getting loud and raucous on the first floor. I was like, Why? Then we turned a corner to find two young shaven muscle-y men hanging out in only their florescent speedo-like undies that were two sizes too tight. I followed up my own question with, Okay, now I'm a little bit uncomfortable for you.

We met up with C and J who had flown in much earlier to also celebrate J's birthday and were staying at the Monte Carlo. There, as we waited in the lobby for them to come down, Eddie and I heard a much different kind of ruckus. Omigod! It was a parade! Like two sheltered people who have never seen a friggin parade before, we literally ran through the casino to chase it down. Free entertainment! The Blue Man group performs at MC, so this parade happens daily. Lucky them!

Parade!

We walked the strip at night. Everything was lit up. Everything was pretty. We found a cute Italian place and ate. I was practically in a coma because I don't do well with jet lag, but I was still somewhat alert to enjoy it.

C and J came back with us to see the Trop, and by that time, it was wall to wall partying. The almost naked men were gone, but the music was thumping and there was a lot of fun happening. I put my hair up and Eddie pointed at it: She's done for the night. And I was. They were going to gamble, but I was going to bed.

Eddie walked me upstairs and he got into comfy gambling clothes. I got into my jammies! He went out the door, and I climbed under the covers. We'd made the error of turning our tv back on, because when I went to shut it off, it wouldn't turn off. More beeping. More not working. Some weird code popped up onto a white screen.  Very not working.

Stupid TV

 I had to climb out of bed, crawl behind the dresser, and unplug it again. That's around the time my phone rang. It was Eddie telling me that the Tropicana does not have a poker room. Eddie's game is poker, and he couldn't play there because they didn't have it. He wound up going across the footbridge to MGM, which became the usual routine. Every casino/hotel was better than ours, but that was fine. We weren't staying in the room or the casino there. We were there to explore and gamble and laugh and have a good time, which would happen in the days to come...

What A Wedding

Getting ready for a winter wedding....

Hmm, what's this in the dress I borrowed from S?

Ooh, two bucks!

I love a dress with pockets.  I love a friend who lends.

My man, tying his tie.

My man, fixing his shirt.

My man, putting on his jacket.  Snazzy!

After getting all pretty and handsome, we winterized to face the falling snow.

Then there was dancing and drinking and eating and laughing.

We stopped at Panera for a snack before the reception.

And a hot chocolate with chocolate chip cookie marshmallows. 

Standing on the dance floor

Taking a picture of ourselves in the mirror.  Because we are children.

Pretty centerpieces

The wedding was post-collision caused by Speedy Baddriverson, so I was looped up.

Even so, it was a fun time. 

The guys

The gals

When we got home, my feet were still nice and cozy.

And my husband was still lookin all GQ:

And we also saw the rise of the Wedding Olive.

I don't quite remember why, but this olive was important enough to be featured in its own photo.  Like I said, I was looped up and it was a fun time.

Congrats to D and F.

Staying Golden

I "won" this stuff.  I don't go to the movies a lot.  Even though I have Netflix and a bunch of movie channels that Eddie got for free by harassing the Fios people when renewing our contract, I rarely see any movies that are nominated for awards.  However, sometimes I'm a good guesser, so when presented with a list of nominees, I can narrow down the winner.

Like this:

The nominees for best actor are...

Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)

Idris Elba (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)

Tom Hanks (Captain Phillips)

Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Robert Redford (All is Lost)

12 Years A Slave and Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom cancel each other out because they are movies about gaining freedom.

Captain Phillips and All Is Lost cancel each other out because they are both about boats (and because I'm a racist).

Therefore, the Golden Globe would go to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club, and also because he was in Wolf Of Wall Street for like five minutes and was spectacular there, too.  Is that not how it works? 

And the Golden Globe DID go to Matthew McConaughey.  See?  That IS how it works.  Which means my system is foolproof unless there are other categories with other nominees which there are which means I'm not very good at this.

But because I got seven guesses right, I was sometimes privy to grab-bag gifts courtesy of S and her annual Golden Globes bash.  The grab-bag apparently consisted of "stuff S and R are trying to get rid of from their place." Some things not pictured that Eddie or I grabbed were a plastic dolphin and a different kids meal toy.  They made their way back into the bag.

Also pictured is one of the cups that we used for drinks, which is cute in itself, but look at the initials. S found stickers that you can scratch into to show that the cup is yours.  Genius! 

Eddie, who watches no television at all and pays no attention to pop culture, read an article about the Golden Globes and guessed like 12 right.  Maybe reading an article is a better system than my non-logical logic.  Everyone got right around 8.  Then here comes L, just like every year, getting like almost every one right and winning everything.

Winning is not only about the grab bag.  We bet nickels.  At the end, there are a lot of nickels in the pot.  Every year, L winds up taking everyone's nickels.  She has no system.  She has no articles.  Dare I say, she watches movies?  

Incidentally, Eddie and I saw Captain Phillips in the movies when it first came out, and if not for stupid Robert Redford On A Raft, he would have won.  And to not be nominated for the Academy Award?  For shame, Oscar, for shame!

Almost All My Free Stuff January 2014

This is some free stuff.  It came in the mail.  There's other free stuff, but that involves Vegas and the SuperBowl, so you'll have to hold your oohs and ahs for that.

I might drink this, but more importantly, I love this packaging.

Ooh, it's gourmet.  Not decaf, though, so it's iffy.

This? Is already gone.  AND I used the coupon.

Groovin In Motown

As a Christmas gift, Eddie and SMM got me and AF tix for all of us to see Motown on Broadway. On a rainy night in January, Eddie and I headed into the city and between rain drops found Bill's Bar and Burgers.

When we went in to let them know we were there for our reservation, they seated us without our entire party there. That's a big plus! No place does that! The woman offered us a booth in the back. Eddie asked, Can you see the game from there? No, we could not. The woman offered us a table up front by the door in front of the screen the size of the large wall it was on. That, apparently, was perfect.

When SMM and AF arrived, we got some food fast. It was like the quickest service ever. They barely had time to dry off as they got caught in a rather hard downpour on the way in. We ate. It was good. No sides come with your burger. It's not a drawback for me considering I'd rather not have a greasy side, but for some people, it probably is. By the time we finished, the rain had let up and it was time to hike over to the show. When we got to the theatre, the line was moving in so we didn't have to wait outside in the rain. Everything was perfectly timed.

The show is non-stop entertainment. Sometimes it was hard to follow because the time switches in the beginning, but the singing and dancing made up for the confusion. At intermission, AF was like, I feel like I'm in the show. I was like, I keep dancing in my seat! They guys were enjoying it, too, though at the break they were highly interested in the score of the game. So were all the guys around us and the two of them became the Official Score Updaters for anyone who walked by, including the usher. This? Is our life.

I also learned a lot from the play that I didn't know before like who was married to whom, who divorced whom, who cheated on whom, and who wrote whose greatest hits. Several of the actors played multiple roles and since the show spans many years, we saw them change outfits to fit with the time, which again confused me because "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" Marvin Gaye dresses much differently from "What's Goin On" Marvin Gaye. Again, the music and dancing distracted me from the confusion. Then the little actor who plays The Jackson Five's Michael Jackson stole the show. He's the kind of kid who makes you feel bad about yourself as an adult because he can do what he can do and you can only watch.

Even so, we left on a high. Good play. Good food. Good date. Good night.