Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Husband The Cosmetics Expert

My skin is taking one of its joyrides back through puberty again, which isn't surprising since it's been a very long while since I've had any major problems.  I'm starting to fall out of adoration with my dermatologist, the guy I praised when  he made me all peaches and cream after a hostile treatment of Accutane, the near-toxic dose of Vitamin A that somehow causes deformed fetuses yet glowing skin. 

So I'm getting ready to go out for a very hot day in the city with S and I have a massive breakout starting to happen.  I'm putting on makeup without a mirror in the dark as I usually do (don't ask--I'll eventually get to that at some other time) and Eddie is telling me, It's not that bad. You can't see anything.

I remind him that he can't see anything in the dark and it's bad.  He tells me that I'm a bat.  This is love.

I come into the kitchen and point directly at a red bump and say, See it?  See it?  Tell me you can't see it.

He goes, okay, now I see it but are you going to do that to everyone to make them see it?

No, but it's see-able!  I can see it. You can see it.  Everyone can see it.  It's ridiculous if you can't see it.

So then, from out of nowhere, he comes up with this: Wear really bright red lipstick and no one will notice.

This?  Stopped my rant completely and gave me pause.  Hmm, this?  Was the BEST idea EVER in the history of all ideas.  I jumped on him, hugged him, and ran to the closet to go through my bag of 57 lipsticks.  All that lipstick and I have no bright red. 

BUT I did find a very frosty purple-pink that is absolutely insane.  I got it for free at SELF's Workout In The Park one year.  Actually, I got several of them.  This was perfect!

To cool off from our sweaty trek up and down the city streets, S and I stepped into Joe Fresh to look around.  You know those commercials with the more than usually tall blonde models wearing snake-skin patterned shirts and bright colored jeans?  That's Joe Fresh.  I don't like those looks at all but the commercials made me want to go.  So when S was like, Stop here to cool off? I was like, sure thing!

The store is so bright and light and filled with mirrors.  That is so opposite of what I like.  Sensing that my acne was clearly noticeable in this environment, I took out my tube of frosty purple-pink gloss and smeared some on.  S, who had been looking at pants, turned around and said, Oh, well that's very pink. 


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