As everyone knows, I love the Olympics. I can't get enough of it. I watched the prelims. I will watch every minute. I'm excited every time I scroll through the channel menu and see two empty grey slots where the Olympics will be listed. It's Uh-MAZE-ing.
I want to be an Olympic Race Walker. I'm really good at walking. I can't run for shit, but walking? Yes I can. Eddie and I were on the treadmill the other day and he said he was running at 3.5 and then 4 mph. I was like, Really? I walk at that speed. So when I went on, I did my power walking and then turned down the incline and turned up the speed and there I was, walking really really quickly.
I am a fast walker. I have really short legs, but I walk really fast. Sure people with longer legs have to take less strides to go further and in the overall scheme of things, I probably use more energy and would conk out sooner and would not win anything, but still, I am good at walking and maybe I can finally be a real athlete and possibly be in the Olympics if maybe the entire race walking team got food poisoning and so did every other race walker in America. I would so totally fill in.
While I know "Olympic Athlete" isn't necessarily a "job," it is something that is respectable and think of all the commercial deals I'd get--walking sneakers, walkers, etc. The sky's the limit.
And maybe I would be able to make a video like this with a neon outfit. I really have no idea what it's about, but still, it, too, is Uh-MAZE-ing.