Sunday, December 23, 2012

SantaCon! Must Be A Sign

Two years in a row I've been to almost-SantaCon. Last year, Eddie and I found a lonely Santa hat in the gutter and saw swarms of people dressed up as Santa. Only much later did it dawn on us that our trip into the city had been on the same day as SantaCon.

SantaCon is a day of merriment in the form of adults dressing up in Christmas-related outfits and drinking from the wee morning hours into the late late night hours (really the next wee morning hours).

This year, we did not plan a huge see-every-Christmas-related-event-in-the-city romp. We basically saw everything over the past two years and this year we've both been pretty overwhelmed with work, so there wasn't really any planning going on for anything. In fact, the whole holiday season kinda crept up on us both, evidenced by the very few Christmas cards I sent out this year. Family only and then one or two sent to people who sent us cards early in the month. Anyone who sent us a card that arrived within the few days before Christmas will get a card next year.

We did plan a night out on the town, however. SMM and AF were going to see a play so we said we'd meet up with them for dinner. We hopped on a train, all gussied up, and headed into the city, seeing a few Santa hats along the way. We saw one guy wearing his idea of a Santa outfit using an interesting array of tight red jeans and bright white kicks--like if Santa were a hip-hop star in his 20s.

It didn't dawn on me it was SantaCon until we started walking downtown. We made it to Union Square and oh my Santas and elves and presents. Yes, people were wearing big boxes and wrapped up in bows and wrapping paper. Slutty Santa outfits in freezing weather! Why can't girls just be jolly Mrs. Claus? Big gingerbread men with huge heads! All careening around the bars and taxis. It was insane.

Also insane was the line inside of Max Brenners and their three-hour wait. Um, no. While we waited to see how long the wait was, AF and I eyed the swirling-machines of chocolate in the front. We were mesmerized until I noticed--hey, why is there a container of Huggies wipes sitting on here? Eww. So then we weren't all that upset when we chose to not wait the three hours. Instead, we took a trip around town. Everywhere we went, there was a wait. Also? Drunk Santas. Everywhere drunk slutty Santas, drunk slutty elves, drunk slutty gingerbread men. Wooden soldiers and ballerinas. Rudolph. All mosey-ing across the street all sloshed and blitzed.

We wound up eating at the Cosmic Diner in the theatre district. We had to wait there, too, but it wasn't very long. We waited longer than we should have, though, because there was a family who were most likely tourists who didn't understand apparently what the big bunch of people at the front of the restaurant were doing standing there and staring at them since they took their dandy old time counting out exactly how much money they were leaving and I'm pretty sure also ironing out each bill so that it was nice and neat. Was I a bit overdressed for a diner? Maybe but it served the best diner chicken wrap I've ever eaten ever, so nothing else mattered. SMM actually pointed out that I was kinda dressed for the occasion of SantaCon since I was decked out in a red dress and black boots. Hmm, coincidence?

Odd pose?  Yes.  Taken on a timer so deal with it.

SMM and AF made it to their play on time and Eddie and I walked back through Times Square where we found an overabundance of characters. Thirteen Elmos. Three Cookie Monsters. A whole gang of Mickeys and Minnies all together. It was like a minefield for me--how to avoid the creepy characters and take pictures at the same time.

No characters hang out by the trash can so that's where I was most comfortable.

Also, Eddie had his first encounter with the Naked Cowboy. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He was like, Are you seeing this? I was like, Oh, sure, that's the new guy. He was like, What? I was like, Well, the original guy looked a bit like Fabio. We both looked at the Naked Cowboy again and then agreed that this whole equal opportunity thing has really worked its magic into every kind of job.

I've decided that next year, I must once again go to SantaCon. The big difference is that I'll be doing it on purpose. I don't think I'll last from morning til the next morning. I do, however, like the idea of climbing into a big fuzzy pajama onesie and walking around the city in it to go bar-hopping. It's probably the most comfortable outfit I'll ever wear out, and I have the perfect one hanging in my closet from my first Christmas with Eddie. How serendipitous.

Go ahead.  Be jealous.

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