Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Being In Sex And The City

Resorts World Casino is kind of a big deal. It's a casino that's much closer to home than AC. However, it's got only video-based games. The table games have virtual dealers. It's all about the slots. I'm not much of a gambler because I don't see the point of putting any kind of money into a machine and getting nothing back. It's kind of like saying, Here, inanimate machine, take this money that I have because I don't want it and you should keep it and in return you need only to flash a lot of lights and make some noises. Eddie is more of a table player, so the video portion of that is not very appealing.

Still, it's closer than AC. Which is why we wound up going there with his mom for a big day on the town! Which almost didn't happen because even though we knew exactly where it was, we couldn't seem to find it and the GPS took us into the airport. If that's not a sign to not go....but still, we went.

The first best thing that happened was that we all got member rewards cards and that came with free 10 dollars to play.

The second best thing that happened was that Eddie WON on his first free 10 bucks. He put his coupon into a machine, pressed a button, and BAM! he's up like 70 bucks.

Of course, we couldn't stop there. We had to play more. I played with my 10 bucks and that didn't go very well. So we took a break to head over to the track.

Yeah, that's right. We went to see the races. I still do not find horses very interesting. However, my penchant for horse racing has ironically continued to grow. When we crossed the threshold from casino to Aquaduct, Eddie mumbled, Here's a whole other kind of gambler.

Oh my. The place was packed with mostly older men. Er, uh, well, okay, I'm not trying to judge and saying anything to describe the men would be very judgmental. Or maybe this will help: A man with no teeth stood directly in front of me while Eddie and I were walking through and proclaimed his love for me and sang as we walked away. It was filled with people like that. Along with some women and some younger people who didn't look like they lived there. Mostly though, everyone looked like they lived there.

Eddie showed me the names of all the horses. He chose one. I chose one. We choose based on the names we like. I liked several but came back to Smokin Alice. He placed the bets and told me to hold the papers. I really didn't know what was going on. I just knew we could go outside and watch some horses. The start was all the way on the other side of the track and we stood just past the finish line.

Then they were off! The horse Eddie picked was last. Mine was close to that. They rounded the curve. Then, Smokin Alice was in second. Then, Smokin Alice friggin WON. I won my first live horse race! Man, it felt good!

We returned to his mom all triumphant. She was slot hopping, looking for a good machine. You know, one that gives money back. Eddie handed over his winnings from before and told me to play the Sex and the City game with it. There's this slot machine that makes you choose shoes and dresses and rings and things based on that show. It shows clips from the show. It plays the music from the show. The only weird thing about it was that middle aged straight men were playing it. I don't know what the appeal was for them. It was so much fun. I kept clapping every time I won something. I kept hitting the bonus that caused the wheel to spin that caused a guessing game that lead to winning even more!

And after I was up over 100, somehow, I lost it all. Eddie told me it was okay, that everything we lost was never ours to begin with. It was not okay with me. This is why I don't like gambling. The machine made me lose.

Eddie and I headed over to roulette which was stupid because it didn't let us bet the numbers we wanted because the screen was too sensitive. He wound up breaking even.

Because we wound up losing money by playing on my card, we got 40 more free bucks. Having a score to settle, I stormed back over to the Sex and the City game.

This is why I should not gamble. I try to settle scores with inanimate objects.

However, I did settle the score. I rolled and rolled and rolled. I had a system that made no clear sense--betting one, betting five, betting max, betting five, betting one, betting max. Somehow, it worked. I got the bonus. I got the spin. I got the Match Carrie's Dresses. I turned over mirror after mirror and then BAM! I found the 10000 dress. The woman next to me said, Oh wow and it's 5 times that. Eddie and I looked at each other: WHAT??   The machine kept binging and banging as it added up all the points.  The woman on the other side of me was like, that's nice.  I was like, yup and this is why I'm cashing out.

 Keep in mind this was like a penny slot, so my winnings were not in the thousands. However, when all the math was said and done, we'd come out ahead. Slightly, but slightly is still more than not. And this is why I love gambling. Which is also why I should not gamble.

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