Monday, March 18, 2013

Orwell's 1984 Is Now

It's raining.  It's nighttime.  (I'm doing everything in my power to not start this off with "It was a dark and stormy night."  But I think I just did).  Eddie and I were starving, and so food shopping had to happen in the dark and in the rain.  On the positive, usually the parking lots and stores are less crowded when it rains because everyone must be a witch and does not go out in the rain. 

So when we got to Trader Joe's, he went to get a cart and I stood at the entrance where the electric eye had already caught some people coming out of the store so the doors were open.  Eddie fought with some of the carts that were stuck together, jostling them and causing a small ruckus.

Out from behind the mess of carts scurries a rat.  A sizeable rat.  It scurried right at me.  This rat was a fast rat.  It was wet.  It looked cold.  It sped right through to the doors.  I said nothing because it was too fast for words. 

The rat ran right into my leg.  Then over my foot.  Then through the doors.  I let out an audible, Errruhhhh, hmm! holding up one finger as if to stop the rat and say, Excuse me, Rat, you shouldn't be going in there.

The couple heading out of the store watched the rat run.  The woman said, That makes me question coming here again.

Realizing that I'm not in charge of rats nor am I a bouncer for supermarkets, I stopped feeling guilty for letting the rat in and watched as it continued scurrying.  It went right over some woman's foot as she was checking out at the first register.  No one noticed at first.

Then, as Eddie pulled up his cart next to me, everyone in the store started jumping, gasping, and Eeeeking, you know, the sound you're supposed to make when you see a rat.  Eddie asked what was happening and I said, A rat just ran out from the carts when you moved them and went over my shoe and into the store.

We both walked into the store.  We still needed food.  A rat coming in through the front door when it's cold and wet outside does not mean the store has an infestation problem.  It means the rat is smart.

Some of the guys who work there grabbed a grocery basket and followed it around the store as the rat zig zagged around the displays of pies and bananas.  It ran right past us towards the salad.  Then it made its way into a hold under the salad display.  Instead of using the basket, the guys found cardboard and boarded up the hole so that the rat could not get out.

Eddie and I bypassed the salad and got our groceries in the other aisles.  By the time we got to the cashiers, they were all telling rat stories: rats in subways, rats in the street, rats in dark alleys.  I almost had a story about a rat running up my pants leg, but luckily, it ran past me into the Trader Joe.

When we made it to FoodTown, the rain let up.  We went up and down the aisles, grabbing and putting.  When we got to the freezer aisle, I pulled open a door to get some frozen veggies, and part of the door frame fell on my head.  It was a flimsy piece of plastic and it had tape on it, so obviously it's done this before.  Eddie was like, What is that?  I was like, It fell on my head.  He responded, maybe this is not the night for you to be food shopping.  Probably not, but hunger is worse than rats and freezer door parts.

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